post war

last evening

i sat down

on a warm summer terrace

with my decaf iced frappe

and my bestie

and we made love to each other

through thoughts

through dreams

through our relationships

it's really a beautiful thing

to crack my heart open

for her

and feel the breeze

shine some sunlight on it

have the hummingbirds

humm

have the bees

buzz

have the trees

sway

have the night

fall upon us

as easy as dusk turns into dawn

and as my heart

breaks

open

for her

she hums her a tune

she sings her a song

to help her silences

not feel so silent

to help the lump in her throat

wash away

to reflect her love

back

and then we suited up

with our collective

fullness

for the task at hand

pouring

our support

out for our fellow

lover

who decided

enough was enough

and that she is getting

back to the one

she was meant to love

at this time

herself.

and tears went from flowing

to not

and awkward laughter

turned into truth

and the trifecta

once again

reigns

love upon each other

for that

is what it's for

love to reign

upon

each

other.

and in my post war

i am grateful

for it all

the war

the struggle

the mistakes

the heavy-heartedness

the sighs

the long and lonesome nights

it woke me up

to see the beauty that is my life

it woke me up to the

blessings

it woke me up to

what has been here all along

me.

and that even if i'm not okay sometimes

i will be okay most of the time

and my lovers

[in all senses of the word]

love me for exactly who i am today

they don't love

the potential

they love the present

and that my Mom and Keith will always love me

for it all.

because they were the ones

that taught me

to strive

to give

to never give-up

to hold out

to look up

at ferris wheels

to play that game where

you look for animals

that have the general look

and shape of clouds

to sometimes cry

and to always

remember

the one that i came here to love.....

myself.