range

wake up
get dressed
render myself
feelingless
remember my place
in this place

get on transit
everyone bowing their
heads
after
their swig
after
swig
coffee
coffee
coffee
they mantra
this motion
every morning
as
if
a mass
of people
have the same
prayer
every morning
'get me through this day
get me through this 8 hours
and i will be okay'

tasks
gravities
responsibilities
pay cheque
check
my worth
non-important
my ideas
fallen
on deaf ears

but wait
there is light
at the end of this
monochromatic rainbow
those who seek the same
that which
flourishes inside
me
love
art
transverse
expectations
from those
weekend
getaways
my lovers
peppering
my little pot belly
with kisses
touching my skin
with soft hands
feeling my marrow
via
seasons change
healing
my heart from her
slight
tangent
and all the boys
that i sent away
dream of their
involvement
or lack
thereof
their ghosts
flash in my mind
like cockroaches
scattering across the floor
when i turned on the light

and i don't miss them at all
besides
their potential
that i fell in love with
to begin with
they couldn't step
up
up
up
to the
plate
plate
plate

and there was no
trick
there is no secret
just be present
in my face and
in my mind

and now that you're kicking rocks
down that dirty
gravel road
looking up at me
with those eyes
eyebrow 1
eyebrow 2
repeat
repeat
repeat

all that is left of me
is the memory
that i could've been
we could've been
in that space
together

but aren't,
but aren't.

and all my poetry
seems to lead me to the same
end
the beginning
is different
but the end always
leads back to
one.

which i will leave up to you....
to guess
cause that's what you're good at.
guessing....

and my spectrum
ranges from
one
through
ten
rather than
3
through
six
always.

reflections
of you and i
between
nature
and nurture