Great Expectations

Francesco Clemente

there is an incredible
distance between
a man and a woman
one from the ground
the other from the sky
one who lives in water
and the other that lives
in the sky

and their choices
render
them
together
by way of
a bird
and a fish
and their species
sometimes
devour each other
and their little hearts
beat
at an accelerated
pace
whenever
they are within proximity
to each
other
and nothing but obstacles
impede their vision
against a kyanos blue sky

yet

the war that they fight
against themselves
against the world
against injustice
drives them
into each others arms

out of habit
out of necessity
out of travesty
out of truth
out of lies
out of fantasy
out of a dream
out of acceptance
out of exhaustion
out of completion
out of separation
out of

love

which is not to say
that those words
define
that
for
me
but

like rain
they hang onto leaves
and thoughts
and blades of grass
like you hang
onto me
and i feel
your attachment
and my lack
of so
for you

and nothing
but a sad melody plays in my head
when i think of your
disappointing
satisfaction
that felt more like a shrug
rather than
effort
and all your promises
and declarations
that were spurned
from tragic interactions
and scar inducing conversations
which i will
carry
around
like a badge
and that 'melancholy makes me feel so grown-up'
kinda like
a veteran
rather than
someone
who was told
'i love you'

and whenever your name
comes up in conversation
i always look
down
or
off into the distance
for the good of my heart
because i can't look them in the eye
when they ask for an explanation
because i don't have one
they ask
'how did you go from
here to there?'

and all i can say is:
there was no me in us.

{as an aside, the above painting was done by a man by the name of Francesco Clemente.  incredibly talented artist.  he did all of the artwork in the movie 'Great Expectations' with Ethan Hawke and Gweneth Paltrow.  one of my favs.  his work always moves something in me that was unmoved before.  i am always inspired and filled with words by his artistry.  it's quite lovely.  and spacious.  feeling that way these days.  about art.  well, maybe just for today. }