range

wake up
get dressed
render myself
feelingless
remember my place
in this place

get on transit
everyone bowing their
heads
after
their swig
after
swig
coffee
coffee
coffee
they mantra
this motion
every morning
as
if
a mass
of people
have the same
prayer
every morning
'get me through this day
get me through this 8 hours
and i will be okay'

tasks
gravities
responsibilities
pay cheque
check
my worth
non-important
my ideas
fallen
on deaf ears

but wait
there is light
at the end of this
monochromatic rainbow
those who seek the same
that which
flourishes inside
me
love
art
transverse
expectations
from those
weekend
getaways
my lovers
peppering
my little pot belly
with kisses
touching my skin
with soft hands
feeling my marrow
via
seasons change
healing
my heart from her
slight
tangent
and all the boys
that i sent away
dream of their
involvement
or lack
thereof
their ghosts
flash in my mind
like cockroaches
scattering across the floor
when i turned on the light

and i don't miss them at all
besides
their potential
that i fell in love with
to begin with
they couldn't step
up
up
up
to the
plate
plate
plate

and there was no
trick
there is no secret
just be present
in my face and
in my mind

and now that you're kicking rocks
down that dirty
gravel road
looking up at me
with those eyes
eyebrow 1
eyebrow 2
repeat
repeat
repeat

all that is left of me
is the memory
that i could've been
we could've been
in that space
together

but aren't,
but aren't.

and all my poetry
seems to lead me to the same
end
the beginning
is different
but the end always
leads back to
one.

which i will leave up to you....
to guess
cause that's what you're good at.
guessing....

and my spectrum
ranges from
one
through
ten
rather than
3
through
six
always.

reflections
of you and i
between
nature
and nurture

Soap and Glory

i was strolling through my local Pharmaprix (that's Shopper's Drug Mart to y'all who don't live in Quebec), looking at things that i don't need.  as per usual.  nail polish, perfume, cheap jewelery, magazines, candles, pretty much everything you would find in a pharmacy.....thus making it on of the most dangerous places for me to just, browse.  inevitably, i end up spending too much money in places like this and curse myself afterward. 

i digress...

so, while in the body wash area - i stumble upon this line of products called Soap and Glory.  due to the cuteness of the packaging, it's throwback flare, it's sassy tag lines and it's affordable prices makes it stand out in the aisles of ho-hum products and bla bla bla competitors.

this was the product mix that was offered in the location that i was at.  i seriously couldn't decide on which one i wanted to try more......and b/c i am a sucker for marketing, i wanted to try them all just b/c they would look so cute in my single gal apartment right next to my Marilyn Monroe poster in my bathroom.

as i was peeping their website, i noticed some Canada love being spread around......check ca:

"NOW For the exciting bit…not that we don’t think you’re terribly fun, Marie and Carla! BUT, we want to get to know our Canadian friends too! So we have devised a plan to better acquaint ourselves with our lovely fans across the pond.

The plan is twofold. FIRST, we Brits have a little trouble picturing what Canada is actually like. Not Marcia of course – since she’s one of YOU, but for some reason she likes to keep us guessing. She thinks it’s hysterical that we mainly picture bobsleds, maple leafs and hockey players at the mention of Canada. We know there must be so much more to it. Here in London, everything you’ve heard is true. It’s grey, cool and damp most of the year. As a result, we LOVE scrubs like FLAKE AWAY and body butters like THE RIGHTEOUS BUTTER Body Butter. SO, back to the plan, we would like to get to know you and your Country by what S&G products you like. Tell us your faves here and how they go with you and your Canadian lifestyle.



NEXT PHASE of the Get to Know Canada Plan. Send us a picture of YOU, in your nearest Shoppers Drug Mart in the Soap & Glory aisle, to prize@soapandglory.com, with the subject line WE LOVE CANADA. We will adorn our walls with all your lovely faces, AND our fave pic will get a dreamy S&G Summer Prep Goody Bag.



Canada we’re counting on YOU!



GET IN IT TO WIN IT!"

SO guys.....check it out.  go to your closest location.....HOW CUTE ARE THESE PRODUCTS.  they definitely brought some sunshine to my day yesterday in an otherwise dreary landscape......due to the crap weather.

fashion weak SS11

Marchesa

Acne

 

 Complex Geometries

G-Star

here is a little something for y'all to nibble on.  i checked quite a few collections.  these are the only ones that are really peaking my interest.  kind of disappointed with some efforts.  but, alas, the most incredible thing about fashion is that it changes so quickly.  fashion is nothing if looking forward always.  it's pretty refreshing.  nothing is precious.  except that which is coveted.  and no one will know until the masses respond.  try a few of these lovers on.  work them around in their wardrobes and minds until they fit.  have those marbles roll around in the deep recesses of our brains. 

Marchesa: is my romantic side coming out.  apparently some of the attendees were breathless.  rightfully so.  some of those dresses are absolutely stunning.

Acne: silhouettes are always on point.  forward.  intelligent.  present.  not a fan so much of the matrix sunglasses, but still.  valid.

Complex Geometries: looks just beautiful to wear.  like as if the CG woman hasn't a care in the world.  she walks around like she is flawlessly put together within a subculture of her own.  she is owned by no one.  she represents nothing but herself.

G-Star:  it's nice to see a premium denim brand step out of their comfort zone a little bit.  take a walk on the fashion side.  don't get me wrong, the washes are exquisite.....but, seriously, the cuts on some of the bottoms and the trench and sleeveless coat......definitely in the zone.

all images attained from Fashionista and Style.com

i require more than proximity to maintain

maybe this is something that everyone knows....but i seriously had this epiphany today as i was walking home from work.  and the sun was shining to put forth upon my path:  shadows.  light.  love.  air to breathe.  perspective.  experience.  melody.  a beautiful sanctuary in my heart and head where i listen to my music and walk and work out my thoughts.  with a beautiful landscape for my eyes to make love to.  a beat for my feet to walk to.  rhythm for my hips to sway to....

my epiphany was this:  people show you exactly who they are.

here's the kicker:  are you listening?

i have had the very fine privilege to meet some truly incredible human beings since i reclaimed myself back from some shitty years, shitty relationships and holding onto the past.  and in that.  meeting incredible people - i met some not so incredible people.  which is fine.  i'm not here to bitch about them.  actually quite the opposite.  the whole purpose of this post is to render the following:  in every single relationship, either in friendship or romantic, the other person involved has always told me exactly who they were within a very short period of time of meeting them.  either they were ready for me, or they weren't.  in whatever capacity that our dynamic warranted.  and i know enough about myself to know that, i am, and intense person.  i require more than proximity to maintain.  i need truth.  and i will get it, whether the other person accepts that or not.  i will crack them open to see their goo-ey, sugar-ey center whether they think appropriate or not. and i mean, fuck appropriations when it comes to human behavior.

that's just how i roll.

it's something that i need.  it's something that i want.  and i won't take anything less.  this is what differentiates between those that get me.  and those that don't.

and as i get older, the more i enjoy myself.  the more i enjoy others.  the more i enjoy my life.  there isn't as much confusion.  there isn't as much insecurities.  there is just me.  and love.  and that is the word that is on the tip of my tongue for every single person that comes into my life.  because if it's not, the invitation is not extended.  my bones.  my heart.  my limbs.  my skin.  my face.  my smile.  cannot respond to someone who doesn't get that about me.  and about life.

'cause if you're not getting happier as you get older - then you're fuckin' up.' - ani difranco

angel food

if the mattress was a table top
and the bed sheet was a page
we'd be written out
like a couple of question marks
my convex to your concave
and we'd be lying here
at the end of a sentence
and asks, are you ready now?
are you gonna glow in the dark?
are you gonna show me how?

do you like to watch when water misbehaves?
do you like waves?
as the wind shifts
and shifts again
the sail smiles
and gently slaps around the mast
ballast
ballast
ballast

when you come to me
come to me with cake
in your pocket
come to me nicely
with that soft kinda cake
that's mostly icing
come to me ready and rude
bring me angel food
angel food

-ani difranco

i will leave you with a lil Fiona Apple - Window.  it's a good one.  articulates many a fore mentioned situations....

I was staring out the window
The whole time he was talking to me
It was a filthy pane of glass
I couldn't get a clear view

As he went on and on
It wasn't the outside world I could see
Just the filthy pane that I was looking through

So I had to break the window
It just had to be
Better that I break the window
Than him or her or me

I was never focused on just one thing
My eyes got fixed when my mind got soft
It may looked like I'm concentrated on a very clear view

But I'm as good as asleep
I bet you didn't know
It takes a lot of it away if you do

So I had to break the window
It just had to be
Better that I break the window
Than him or her or me

So I had to break the window
It just had to be
Better that I break the window
Than him or her or me

Because the fact in fact
Whatever's in front of me is covering my view
So I can't see what I'm seeing in fact
I only see what I'm looking through

I had to break the window
It just had to be it was in my way
Better that I break the window
Then forget what I had to say

So again I've done the right thing
I was never worried about that
The answer's always been in clear view
But even when the window's clean
I still can't see for the fact
That when it's clean it's so clear
I can't tell what I'm looking through

So I had to break the window
It just had to be
Better that I break the window
Than him or her or me

I had to break the window
It just had to be it was in my way
Better that I break the window
Then forget what I had to say

I had to break the window
It was in my way
Better that I break a window
Then forget what I had to say

Or miss what I should see
Or breaking him or her or me

- Fiona Apple

Lanvin Wedge

bubble, bubble, toil and trouble.  ~drool.  Lanvin Wedge.  yes please.  i saw these babies in the September issue of Vogue ....for the Nordstrom ad which was incredi-ballz.  goo.  nothin' like a little skyscraper wedge to pick me up this morning.

Ray Lamontagne

Caroline in the mountains
Sun sets up in ribbons high
I don't never wanna get old
never wanna die...

Been seein' steady rain
'Bout to drive us all insane
Clearly lost a few head up in the pines

At night some of the boys 
Get to talking of their girls back home
I tell them nones as fine as mine

The old chaplain saying:
'Come morning we'll break the range...
'We pushing hard now for the plains'

I close my eyes ...
I can see you I close my eyes ...
I can feel you here

God willin' and the creek don't rise
I'll be home again before this time next year,
Though I fear this fever it won't break
All my love

Ray Lamontagne

i woke up this morning.  earlier than usual.  watched the sun rise.  it felt finite somehow.  it felt measurable.  in brightness and the lack thereof.  maybe it was the 5am internal alarm clock.  maybe it was my constraints....the ones that i have been putting on myself.  between here and there.  between now and then.  between you and me.  she hurts today.  she feels heavy. 

space needed.
space please.
so that she can breathe
so that she can see
see what is here
like, really here.

breathe

a few hundred cigarettes later
play
pause

repeat
repeat
repeat

more cigarettes

ctl + c
ctl + v

sh-sh-shake it off
like Mariah

where'd i go?
what happened here?
{she checks her purse
she checks her wallet
she pats her pockets

she's getting plenty of little kisses
but nobody's slippin' her the key}

i reckon
there's some walkin' ahead
some conversations to be had

i need a big loan
from the girl zone

Rollin' through these hills I've known I'd be comin'
Ain't a man alive that likes to be alone
Been a while since I seen my lady smile
Have I been, have I been away so long?

I am tired
I am tired

Can I come home for the summer?
I could slow down for a little while
Get back to loving each other
Leave all those long and lonesome miles behind

Through the years I have learned
Some things worth the tellin'
And you'd be right in guessin'
That each and every lesson they were hard won

I am tired
I am tired

Can I come home for the summer?
I could slow down for a little while
Get back to loving each other
Leave all those long and lonesome miles behind

You'll follow her wherever she goes
You love her and you just wanted to know
That you'll follow her, you'll find a way
'Cause you love her and you just wanted to know

Ray Lamontagne

I heard the word-it’s goin all around town:
Looks like Your latest toy done put ya down
It won’t be long fore you come crawlin on home
Like some ole dog wit ya tail on the ground

I listening to you beg and you plead -
Don’t fill my heart wit no pity
What makes you think I’m going to take you back again?
I ain’t your Repo Man – I ain’t your Repo Man

Used to be just you and me -So young and in love like it was meant to be -
It didn’t take long and I began to see that you got eyes for every man out on the street…
I listening to you beg and you plead -
Don’t fill my heart wit no pity

What makes you think I’m ’bout to take you with me again?
I ain’t your Repo Man – I ain’t your Repo Man
I ain’t your Repo Man – I ain’t a Repo Man
It’s like you think I got revolving doors on my house-

Like you can just come and go as you please
I’m bout to do what your daddy shoulda done:
I’m gonna lay you right across my knees
Work like a devil every night and every day

Bustin my back just to make my pay
Now where is your woman?
You ask while you work and you slave- (chuckles)
As they say: While the cat’s away…

I listening to you beggin and you plead -
Don’t fill my heart wit no pity
What makes you think I’m ‘gonna take you back here again?
I ain’t no Repo Man – I ain’t your Repo Man
I ain’t no Repo Man – I ain’t the Repo Man

Ray Lamontagne

Atalanta Weller

Susie from Style Bubble

Spring / Summer 2010

i was browsing some of my fav blogs...and stumbled across these babies {Atalanta Weller} on the foot of the stellar fashion blogger Susie of Style Bubble.  how pretty are they?!  and they look even nicer on..... *sigh

sometimes when i look up.....

sometimes when i look up
i don't feel it
i have to create my
own space
where love
is king
and insecurities
don't exist.

my ambition
plagues me
in my sleep
in my awake
in my 9-5
where i dream
of love
and art
and true design
and integrity
and heart
and for my own sake

my frustration
bubbles
and toils
and leaks into all that i do
friendships
looking down
looking up
tripping up
tripping
it bleeds
like a cancer
into my life
without my control

so, i will decide
to feel the sunshine
on my hair
interlace
my fingers in the grass
sway like the trees
like from back home
remember
what magenta sunsets look like
remember what
skinny dipping in Green Lake
feels like
during a thunder storm
listen
for the crickets
and
take
every
single
opportunity
to remember
that i am connected to the moon
in ways that make me whole
like when it's full

and trust
that i will return
to mother
nature
when
the time is right
when
the glean
of fluorescent light
gets
to hurt my eyes
and that high pitched
sound of
technology
interrupts
my song.

this charming man

i suppose you can't really tell how dapper this young Sir looked, but he did.  click on the picture to zoom in on his particulars:  tonal saddle shoes.  pleated slacks.  button up shirt with rolled cuffs.  and to top it all off, a knit tie with diamonte details.  gold.  it also helped that his personal grooming methods seemed pretty on par with the look.  respect.  oh pubs, how i love thee.....Honey Martin in particular.

girlfriends - well, one in particular.

so - this is a good follow-up post to the below.  i hope my doll doesn't hate on me for posting such a {close to my heart} email that she sent me.  but it really touches me.  that she feels and reflects what a large part of my purpose on this planet is about.  love.  pure.  real.  true.

she recently moved out of my immediate proximity.  which makes me sad that i don't see her everyday.  but it makes me happy that she is continuing on her path.  on her terms.  and fuck what everyone else thinks.  i respect shamelessness.  when it comes to your heart.  above all else.  respect.

and this reminds me that, even when i get to feeling a little down, the people that are meant to be in my heart:  are.  and will always be.  words have healing properties in my life.  and these words just energized me for another little while.  so, lover, thank you for reminding me how much friendships mean to me.  and thank you for being an incredible person.  the kind of person that my dreams are made of. 

disclaimer:  if you're feeling not so up for a goo-fest, i suggest you keep passing this post by.  it's pretty up there.

...as I get ready, putting on pearl and rhinestone headbands in my freshly cut and dyed hair, just your typical morning getting ready to go workout in a fashionable manner, I decided to blow off working out cuz I had a sudden urge to watch The Devil Wears Prada. Must be aftermath effects of reading Vogue's September issue...

...and then I remembered you. And how much I love you. And how I haven't written you my love letter yet.

I've been away from you for a little over a month. A month and nine days to be quite exact. And it's been a trying month. I never realized how much you fill up the little nooks and crannies.  You're the sip of iced soy latte by day, the sip of sour apple martini by night, the first drag of a long awaited cigarette, the hug that last a little too long and makes me cry...and that's a good thing. You bring up the real me, the whole me, every smile and every tear. When I'm with you, I feel whole, I feel complete. Body, mind and soul. We've bullshitted and we've shared emotional crazy times and every time has been so real, so pure. I've always been me. The true me. With AND without make up.

I love easily but I don't let just anyone in. And I remember talking about this with you, once at Honey's, during a day shift. You were sipping on your cider, Brody was on a stool next to you, and I was standing at the corner of the bar. We chatted on letting people into "the circle". And my dearest friend, I let you in before I met you. You're one of the most magnificently complex and beautiful women I have ever met...One that tests me, that pushes me, that makes me smile and laugh, one that drives me crazy, one I worry about constantly, one that worries about me just as much, one I'm not afraid of to let in, one I trust the most with little ol' me, me and my precious feelings, my fears. I never knew you existed and there you were...Of all the joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine.

Bean, you are so special to me. You're beautiful, inside and out, brunette or blonde, updo's or just braids, wearing that god awful designer fannypack (hahaha!) or one of your sexy pairs of boots, when you're larger than life happy or falling apart sad...I think you're beautiful even when you're a raging bitch or out to fuck shit up and chase down a dude with a bat. You're beautiful because you're a paradox, a walking contradiction, because you are two people in one, a literal mind-fuck sometimes and that makes me smile from ear to ear. You are not afraid to be who you are. And that is one of the most striking and admirable qualities you possess. You possess it and what makes you even more wonderful, you help others to learn that quality. You teach people to love themselves, or just to love themselves harder, and in turn to love others even more so. Your whole life purpose is love and as corny as it may sound, you are the only person I know that actually embodies it everyday, all the time. And your heart is so big, you emanate it continuously.

You're a fucking unicorn.
No one, NO ONE, is like you.

Thanks for being you. Thanks for being my friend, my sister, my soulmate. Our lives will be filled with people that come and go, people you will learn from, people you will teach. Some people have a shelf life, some people will be there forever. Time could fly by but you and me kid, we're forever. As long as there are men, booze and cigarettes, we're forever.

I love you with all my heart.
You are my heart.
My Bean.

Your Poo-Banana xoxoxox

P.S. Never forget...life's rough. Grab a bat. BEST CLAUDIA QUOTE EVER!!! ...and I'm sure there's more to come =)

open window on a September evening....

feelin' like the less i say, the better i am understood these days.  so, i will post a few tunes for your ears to snack on......pretty basic.  autumn.  sweetness.  

as the rain falls outside
i think of you
all of you
the ones in my heart
and i want to
protect
and defend
your hearts
and your honor

even the you's
that didn't earn your
spot
even the you's
that didn't stake your claim

i am blaring
my music
to the open window
while you all do your thing
together
and alone
and all your lives play
out in my head
like hidden security cameras
i'm constantly glancing in
on your lives
asking
checking
double checking
wanting a visual
of your beats

and some days
pass
without
movement
and then i turn around
and it's fall
and over the previous
season
we discussed
we hatched
we drank down
our plans
together
and a part

but still
you remain in my heart
whether you asked for my
help
or advice
or nudge
or love

or not

and some
that have moved on down
down the line
out of my split screens
i still remember you
even now
even with
time and space
and the lack of words
between us

even with....

Calleen Cordero

Yes pleeeaaaasssseeee!!!!  this combines my undying affection for Equestrian style and the new and improved fanny pack people!  in the infamous words of Paris Hilton, LOVES IT!!!!  this is Calleen Cordero's Gavranita pouch.