Leave My Body

Where I am born is far from where I am living
To realize the disappointments and brief nature of actuality
Breaks me open, from what is in my face, every day
I am constantly thirsty for languid language from those
Who leave me crumbs
Inadvertently
Kisses
              Hugs
                           Rubs
                                       Tugs
Like freshly painted stairs
Each, new plain, a different color
And every time I step up
I get dirtied, in thought, in heart, in hope
That, this time, will be different.
That the vibration in which reverbs from our energies
Crashing together
Won't be the daily death of me
Won't be the daily heartbreak
Cause she breaks
Daily
For what you said
For what you couldn't
For what you shouldn't

That is the place I live
Your potential
I am listening for what your heart speaks
Not what your mouth leaks
I am feeling your flesh through the fibers on your hungry body
Not where you've told yourself is appropriate to show skin

Artifice is succulent in it's accessible nature
For us all
I propose to: howl
Scream into the microphone of my heart
I promise you that you won't hear that screeching feedback
It will be praise for praises sake
And, maybe, in that, you will understand that we are all circular beings
Overlapping when we are together
Acute in parallel
Obtuse in our individuality.
And that it's okay to feel our differences
Like when you squint at the sun
The beauty is so much that it requires acclimatization
In beauty and understanding and compassion

The only curse that I carry
Is the one that I drag around with me
My alter that sometimes feels so heavy in your arms
She was born from structure, time, bureaucracy, concrete and wrapped in silence

But just over the waterfall
Of dreams and freedom
Is where I choose to grow
In blessings and humility and in that place where every single person that I love
Is open with me and vice versa
And we can carry each others ground
We can bury each others haunt
And forgive each others ghosts
Of what we swore we'd never say
And when we weep - fallen is the expectations we have of each other
Up is the future
And of what might be
And of what is
Because
When you kiss me
In thought
I love you so much

Leave that longing feeling behind

Keep the remembrance of our song
The one that sounds great
In whatever organically driven nature it takes
It offers the radiant light to the world in it's truth

Which is what is
Just

Beautiful

So, leave my body, anxiety
And hurt
Leave her be in her journey
Your rocking chair will continue to rock
But, not to my beating heart
There is no place for you here

Tenses weave in and out.
Past.
Present.
Future.
First person.
Third person.

I cannot stop the health
I cannot stop the incredible infatuation I have with true love
I cannot stop the hope
I cannot stop the choices everyone else makes

I can only go
With what feels right
With what feels soft and sweet like fresh mango

Louder than bombs
Is my desire to honour myself and my heart
And honor sweetness for sweetness' sake

For the sake of sweet.