Re-Up

decision
process
process
process
embrace
the re-up

I have let myself slip
A few times
Into sadness
Because, sometimes, that's where I need to be
But lately, not so much
The drive
Is strong
To seek that which is better
For my heart
To seek that which is right
For my life
To seek that which is more
For my soul
And, the interesting thing about that is
The in between times are much less heartbreaking
Even in the mistakes
Even in the lull
Even in the dark
I can generate enough light
I can rub my last two
Unbroken ribs together
To make fire
And, inside, it keeps me warm
Warm enough to put one foot in front of the other
And continue the journey
Through the night
Long enough to
Do what I do
And every now and then
I stop
To take off my back pack
Hydrate
And remove some of the weight
Pouring my hope
Back into myself
Instead of carrying the resentment
Instead of carrying the memories of the past
Because, it took me a few years to realize
What it was that happened to me in my life
And now that I can look back and understand it - the mechanics of it
I'd like to see it in my rearview
And make the ultimate choice
An outlaw of a re-up

Forgiveness

And, look up
Look forward
To the unknown
And, try, and trust in the safety I have created and tended
In presence of facing
Me
And working on being ok
With that